And I started thinking: should I be more stressed out about Christmas? I even asked Greg who we were supposed to buy gifts for at his office. He was confused. I admit I am a terrible gift giver (I apologize to my parents, Greg's parents and my sister Amber as they bare the brunt of my terrible gift giving), but I was starting to feel pretty bad.
Ok not really.
Actually the more I thought about what my cousin said, the more not-stressed I felt. We have spent the entire Christmas season doing stuff as a family. We have crafted together, baked together, played together, and done a little tiny bit of shopping together. Yesterday and today (days four and three before Christmas) we baked some treats for the neighbor and delivered them, but we only made one thing and only one batch, so only a few of our neighbors got goodies--big deal. And I haven't once been too stressed or stressed at all. In fact, this has been a nearly perfect season.
While I may not be perfect or even descent at gift giving, I feel like I'm pretty good at setting priorities, and in light of my cousin's plea for help in the sanity, I thought I'd share my wisdom.
I am a stay-at-home mom and feel like that is my career. Having it be my career, I feel like I should be professional at it, and not just let things slide. As such my priorities are as follows:
1. Wife. I can replace Rex, but I can't replace Gregory. He needs to be first, so in the morning he gets all my attention (until Rex makes that impossible) and when he gets home from work, I again try to focus on him.
2. Mother. This is my real job. Mother. Being a mother means more than babysitting; it means interacting and teaching and playing. I don't spend all of Rex's awake time playing with him, but I try. Most mornings I like to take him on an outing such as MacDonald's or one of the BYU museums or sometimes just a toy store to play with the display items. Even when I have to do something that doesn't revolve around Rex when he is awake, I try to involve him, which is why dinner is made with love at our house.
3. Housekeeper. Everyone is calmer and happier when the house is clean. And Rex still takes 3 hour naps so I have plenty of time to clean, but, as previously mentioned, even if I do clean when Rex is awake I involve him, which is why he knows how to clean a toilet at 21 months.
4. Everything else, which isn't much. And I like it that way. I tell people that Greg and Rex are my #1s so they might just have to wait. People know I don't wake Rex up from naps and that they'll just have to wait if they need something. People know that I don't usually do stuff at night because 10 times out of 10, I'd rather be with my family. I don't announce it to people, but somehow I'v let people know that they just aren't that important to me because I have a career and a job and that is being a wife and mother and if they need me to do something that isn't being a wife and mother, they will probably have to wait. And a lot of times things just don't get done--like making a million different types of treats for all the neighbors and Greg's co-workers and my visiting teachees or going to mid-week Relief Society activities. And that's just the way it is, so judge me if you want, but I'm not stressed and I am loving Christmas and have lots of time to think about and be with the most important things this time of year, my family and Christ.
And that's the wisdom of my great 25 years that I share with you tonight.
ps I'm not perfect at this, but at least it's the philosophy that I live by, most days.
Our bishop (clergyman) invited us to ask ourselves the question, "What gift can I give the Savior, what obstacle can I overcome to become a better disciple of Christ?" He invited us to write it down and wrap it up and put it under the Christmas tree. I have thought a lot about this question and I want to give Him something real, something I can accomplish for Him during the next year. I'm still thinking about it, I haven't decided completely what it is that I can really focus on this year to become a better disciple of His. But I did decide that the best gifts I could give my children and my husband and family were gifts of my time and attention and effort. I admire you for giving your time and attention and effort to your husband and child. I want to find the others out there who are lost or lonely or broken and give them love and attention too. That is one way I can be a better disciple of His. Too often I find myself distracted or too busy to do the simple kind things for others, like invite them to church, call them, visit them, etc. But this year I am going to make it a priority.
ReplyDeleteI like this Heather. Especially the professional attitude towards being a stay-at-home mom. It makes sense.
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