I have a story to tell

I have a story to tell.  This is a true story.  It happened to me and I didn't think much of it at the time, but then there were the riots in Ferguson, Missiouri and then the ones in Balitmore and then the Black Lives Matter Movement started and this story keeps coming back.  It wants, needs, to be written down.  So here it is:

It was the summer of 2006.  I had just gotten back from Ecuador and was staying with my parents in Seattle for the few weeks before school started.  I got asked on a date (not big deal there right, every body wanted to date me).  His name was Devon and he was biracial.  We weren't super close, or even close at all; in fact I may have only talked to him once or twice and I can't remember how we met--he may have known my sister and I think he also went to BYU.  And I never spoke to him after this date either.  Just didn't click I guess.  But we went on a date anyway.

He had tickets to a Mariner's game in downtown Seattle.  For some reason I drove.  My dad's 1998 blue Honda Civic.  I didn't know where I was going and the traffic was, you know, game day traffic.  As I got off the freeway, I wanted to turn right.  There was a white police officer not doing a very good job at directing traffic at the end of the off-ramp.  He was waving his hands all over the place not making much sense so I just waited.  He came over to my car, had me roll down the passenger side window and was a little rude in telling me where to go.  I'm not a huge fan of authority figures or having people be rude to me or tell me what to do, so I was a little mouthy back to him.  How dare he talk to me like that when he was clearly not doing his job well?  I was annoyed.

Meanwhile, my biracaial date was gluing his head to the back of the seat, remember the office is talking to me through my date's window.  Devon is "Yes, Sir" and "No, Sir" and "Sorry, Sir"-ing his head off while I'm telling the officer how to do his job.  That annoyed me too--geeze Devon, get a grip, we didn't do anything wrong.  The officer moved; I turned right; we parked and went to the game.  I don't remember who won or who they were playing.

The whole polic officer exchange probably took 30 seconds and aside from being annoyed, I didn't think anything of it.

Until Black Lives Matter.  And the whole incident changed.  I realized my white, middle-class, girl status.  I realized the fear I caused my date.  I realized all that stuff was true--that that police officer treated me differently than he would have had I been a black male.

I don't know how I feel about it.  Grateful that I'm white and can get away with being rude and disrespectful to just about any authority figure?  Sorry that I put my date in danger for being rude and disrespectful?  Guilty that I get away with so much?  Angry that I do when other people don't?

I don't have any conclusions to draw from this story, but it, the story, wanted to be public and made known.  So here it is.  Out.

A Few Good Changes

1. Rex started 1st grade.  And he still really likes school.  And is doing ok.  His teacher this year is medicore at best and isn't doing much to push or challenge him.  She's pushed him back on his reading 2 levels from where he ended in kindergarten; she's repeating math that he learned last year (but that I taught him when he was 3 or 4); and her bahavior plan sucks.  Rex came home the first week of school really upset that he had to pull his card for talking.  The second time he had to pull his card he was a little upset.  Now he doesn't care.  Way to instill a desire to behave.  NOT!  Plus she makes him pull his card for the dumbest stuff.  Now I'm boarding on rant so I'll stop.  Greg says I'm being unfair, which may have been true but then another mom from Rex's class with a daughter at the same level as Rex and who also had Mrs. Reilly last year approached me at Curriculum Night about the teacher this year--AND I"M NOT CRAZY.  She doesn't like the teacher either and has even tried to move her daughter out of the class.  For now, we've decided we don't care about Rex's behavior chart and I'm keeping my antenea up for any other nonsense because I get what I want and I want my kid happy at school dang it.

Anyway, Rex still likes school.

He saw this pose on the back of a cereal box in Utah this summer and told me about it a week before school started.  And then I forgot.  Luckily I found some chalk under a tree so I didn't ruin his day.

Then on day 3, I had to buy Rex new socks because tall socks are in this year.  I guess my days of ignoring pop culture are over.  UGGG!

2. Alice also started school.  It's just me and her this year and after mostly failing to do Mommy Preschool with Alice last year, I made some positive changes to make sure it happens this year.

First, instead of hoping for a time during Henry's nap some day of the week to do some stuff with her, I decided that Tuesday will be the day and that I will guard it like I guard house-cleaning Monday.  The only reason we leave the house on Tuesday is for me to go running, which takes about an hour (not that I run for an hour but between finding all the shoes, getting kids in the car, etc. it's an hour)  and then school starts at 11 and goes until about 1:50.  I've decided to do themes by week this year instead of by month so I get to mix things up.  I've also decided to stop taking naps.  I'm a napper.  I just love the feeling of having my eyes closed.  But I realized over the summer in Utah that I didn't have to have a nap every day, because I didn't in Utah.  But I also went to bed earlier and slept in a bit later.  And thus the revelation: if I go to bed earlier, then I won't be so tired all the time.  I counted 8 hours back from when I have to wake up to get Rex on the bus.  Now I go to bed at 10:30.  It's made a huge difference.  I'm way less tired.  I'm less cranky with my kids because I'm not so concerned about getting my nap in. I'm more willing to help others by being more flexible with my schedule (except Tuesday, of course).  I get a lot more done because I don't accidently sleep longer than I intended or having a hard time waking up.  I feel better about myself and my use of time because I'm using my time instead of sleeping it away.  Although, last week, I did take a nice long nap after a rough night with Alice and Henry--they had both fallen asleep too so we just had nap hour at our house.

Alice and I spent a day making this calendar so school felt more official.  She really liked it at first, but now she gets tired of doing it.  But calendar time teaches so many important concepts--time, days of the week, seasons, months, counting, cycles, weather--it's worth the hassel.

One day we did an activity that Rex did in Kindergarten.  I gave her a few blocks and told her to see put the blocks on the lids in different combinations and with different numbers of lids.  This is a precurser to adding--I have 5 blocks and 2 lids so I can put 3 blocks on one lid and 2 on the other or I can put 4 blocks on one and 1 on the other.  Then we practiced saying the number sentence 3 + 2 = 5. See why I'm annoyed at the crap Rex is doing?   

Alice is also taking dance this year--a combined ballet/tap class. There's only 1 other little girl in her class and Alice just LOVES it.  She asks every day if it's Friday yet.  I signed her up for several reasons: 1. the one-day a week preschool I wanted to put her in wouldn't let her because of her birthday, 2. she loves Fancy Nancy and Fancy Nany does ballet, 3. she likes to dance, 4. all little girls should take a dance class, 5. it's important for children to learn how to cooperate in a social environment without their parents controlling everything.  I just hope I win the lottery by next year because I still want to put her in the other preschool but don't think she'll want to do that instead of dance, which means both....any suggestions on lucky numbers?

4.   Henry is the mostly ignored and neglected child.  He gets the occassional afternoon attention hour if the older two head over to the Wheatleys.  One day I gave him some puff balls to put in the ice cub tray and then added a spoon because he loves spoons.  He did this for about an hour.  I, of course, had to sit right next to him and watch him but he had fun.  And then the other two came home and started throwing the puff balls around, which was not cool.

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 And then one day I found Henry like this.  Now that he's figured out how to get in, we often have a baby in our (fake) oven.

The Wedding

We're almost there: we're almost to the end of our trip.  The last stop on our trip was Hannah and Preston's wedding.

It start on Thursday.  Thursday the 13th we got home from the reunion, threw in a load of laundry and ditched the boys with the kids and ran up to Salt Lake to get our nails done, which we were late to, and then Jess and I spent an hour driving around Salt Lake because we read the invite wrong so we missed the yoga.  But we made it to the cookie eating, so that counts right?

Friday morning was prep day.  I spent who-knows-how-long ironing everyone's clothes for the wedding while the aunts chopped and cut and chopped some more.  It was fun being with the aunts all day--all the good-natured gossip.  I love my family.

That night was the rehersal dinner.  And Greg finally got his revenege.

Hannah was 13 the first time she met Greg and she thought it was soooo funny to sit on his lap and hold his hand and in all other ways harass him until we got married.  She probably danced with him at our wedding more than I did.  So when Hannah's future father-in-law opened the mic at the rehersal dinner, Greg sahred this story, then sat on Preston's lap.  Sweet revenge.

Greg getting Preston back

Trying to take a cute couple picture over the beautiful valley but the lighting wasn't super awesome

The next day was the wedding.  First was family pictures.

I tried to get a good picture of all 3 kids for the wallpaper for my phone, but Henry was mostly done

Then the wedding.  Which was lovely.  I actually listened to the ceremony this time (fancy that, I actually paid attention), the sealing ceremony and promises are pretty amazing.  Better than we can even imagine.

Then more pictures.

Why are my kids so adorable?

Henry finally passed out around 5 after not having a nap all day

Then to the reception, which was nice.  Henry slept through the whole thing.  Hallejulah!  More hanging out with my family, a little family dance that we were an 8-count off to end the father-daughter dance, my kids hanging out inside watching TV because they were just too tired (I told them they only had to behave until after pictures at the temple and they did just that), Greg prefected his car decorating skills, sparklers and really sore feet.

We cleaned up, drove back to American Fork, and passed out.  We were going to hang out all of Sunday and drive straight through to Kansas on Monday, but the thought just made me sick, so we left for Wyomming Sunday afternoon, and so started the long drive home--which we've already discussed.

Rex took over my phone

He found some cousins to be mischeivous with

Rex refused to dance.  He has refused to dance most of his life.

Greg spent the reception decorating the car.  I don't think Greg has ever been to a wedding reception.

I had fun finally getting some alone time with Jess and really getting to know her.

These are the ladies I spent Robins Reunions with my whole childhood.  Right after this picture, my grandpa came to take another picture and said, "Smile if you like sex!"  I nearly wet myself.  Grandparents are supposed to say that.

First dance

Finished product

Good bye.

The Roberts Reunion

We meandered home from the Robins Reunion on Saturday, did some laundry, chatted with some more family and went to bed.

Sunday (the 9th) was 9 am church, quick re-packing, even faster lunch and semi-quiet drive to Albion, Idaho.  That is until Rex just couldn't hold his pee any more and we had to stop thus waking Henry and Alice.  Henry cried the last hour to Idaho.

This year the reunion was in a restored dormitory for a normal school (teaching college).  We had the whole campus to ourselves--pool, hot tub, two play structures, bikes, stage, sand volleyball, lots and lots of lawn.  I hardly saw my kids.  It was glorious.  Not that I didn't see my kids; I actually really like my kids and I like hanging out with them, but I also like that they have some many cousins that they can run around having a great time for four days, so much fun that they don't look for me.  

Play structure #1

Rex being silly

Henry LOVED this bikes and was either being pushed or was pushing one most of the Reuion.

Found the boys in a giant bean bag in the game room one day

My sister brought her inflatable slide, which the little kids enjoyed.

Rather than a play-by-play, I'll leave you with a few highlights:

1. Cleveland Lake.  The end.  Seriously the most beautiful place on the planet.  There were wild flowers.  Real wild flowers that grew in the wild.  Not wild flowers that someone planted to be pretty, which is cool, but flowers that grew wildly of their own accord.  It was unreally beautiful.

Henry feel asleep on the way back. 

Alice refused to walk down the mountain.  Noah was nice enough to give her a lift.

All the Robins on the hike

I mean, really, magical.

All the kids picked huge bouquets of wild flowers.

2. Fishing.  I didn't go fishing, but Greg sneaked in a few hours here and there.  At Cleveland Lake, because it is so beautiful.

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3. Alice in her kingdom.  The second floor had an enclosed porch.  Alice lived there for the four days we were in Idaho.  My niece brought her clippy girls and Alice and Autumn and which ever other little girls were around at the time sequestered themselves to this porch and played for hours.  

Alice and Autumn hiding out.

She even played by herself.  She did not leave that room from breakfast until dinner.

Alice thought this was pretty funny.

4. Rock climbing.  Although I recently revealed my long-standing fear of heights (I tried hiding this from even myself for years, but just recently came clean when I realized that all the things I don't like--roller coasters mostly--are just too high for me), I still like rock climbing and I'm pretty good.  I just don't look down.  Rex even gave it a try.  He also did not get too high, but Greg and I are thinking of buying some ropes, and harnesses, and shoes, and carabiner, and...ok that's a lot of gear but maybe one day. Alice and Autumn had a good time bouldering with Grandpa Brian, while Henry was hot, tired, and sweaty and mostly just cried.  

  

I'm pretty sure this is me.

 Greg is the little blue dot.

 Rex giving it a try.

Alice and Henry doing some bouldering.

Henry taking a break from crying to eat.

Me again?

 Henry giving the whole rock climbing thing a try

Alice got very dirty.

5. Boating.  I am also good at water sports.  Man I'm awesome.  Or at least I used to be.  It's been a while, but my cousin Phil brought his boat so I signed the older kids and me up for a 2-hour session with my brother and his family.  I got up on the knee board the first time.  I really wanted to try the wake board, but we didn't have time.  

Getting ready for the tub.  I thought they'd be scared but they were asking to go faster!

Rex really surprised me by asking if he could try the knee board.  He got up on his second try.  I was impressed.

Alice being adorable

Rex didn't even complain a little about having to wear my cousin's daughter's YELLOW and pink life jacket.

6. Haunted house tour.  The other 4 buildings on the campus were boarded up but we all ponied up $1 to have a guided tour.  It was interesting.  The first building was just history, but the last three were decorated for the Albion Haunted House in October.  The third was the worst.  It had a flat roof that had caved in so birds had gotten in to the building and made a mess of the place.  And then somehow my aunt Traci and few others of us got separated from the rest of the group and Traci freaked out and tried to act like she was in control but she's also legitimately afraid of werewolves so it was pretty hilarious yet a little disconcerting at the same time because I was stuck in a poo-covered building with my 3-year-old daughter and semi-hysterical aunt.  I nearly wet myself from laughing, and freight.  We eventually found the exit.

7.  All other things family.  Every reunion, my mom puts on a dance contest and the Brian and Pattie clan win every time.  Truth be told, "we're all winners" according to Grandma, but we know who really won.  We also play a lot of cards.  Greg gets super into it and little competitive and upset and the Noah bets him or says something to diffuse the situations.  They always buy waaaayyy too much food.  I think my aunt bought at least 100 boxes of cereal for four days.  My kids were in sugar heaven.  There's a good reason I'm one of the few who can claim, I haven't missed a reunion--because I just love them.  I really do.

We made Preston do all the crappy stuff since he's the newest member of the family.

Empty seats just waiting of the dance competition

Getting 2nd or 3rd or 4th so something like that at Thump-Thump.  I'm pretty sure I beat Greg though.

Yes, we are all wearing the same shirt.

We left Thursday late-morning, stopped by a senior missionary couple who have served in our ward almost as long as we lived there, took a quick photo op at the Brigham City temple, and got home in time for naps and the beginning of the wedding.  That's part 5 or whatever part we're on.  It was a long vacation.

Brigham City Temple