Trains trains train and Peach

Greg's niece came to town a few weeks back to visit.  She brought her mom with her.  Alice was in love.  Although Alice insists that she is still a baby, she also insisted that she could make baby Peach happy and kept asking to hold her when she cried.  As a side note, Andrea is the only one who calls Samantha by her real name--Samantha.  The rest of us just called her Peach (her middle name).  We didn't mean to.  It just came out.  I'm interested in seeing what little Samantha Peach actually ends up getting called.

Thursday and Friday night, Andrea and SP came over for dinner. I did dinner on Thursday and Andrea and Libby did dinner on Friday.  Allen, Sahar, and Bryant also joined us on Friday.  

Friday's dinner was followed by a few rousing rounds of Uno, Go Fish and Sorry.  Rex really likes board and card games, and for a four-year-old is pretty good at them.  He's pretty ruthless when it comes to Sorry! and doesn't get upset when he gets bumped back to home, so playing with him isn't too bad since I don't have to go easy on him.  And you can bet that Greg doesn't--is that just a male thing?  Greg must assert his dominance in the house at all times.  Maybe we shouldn't have named Rex after Oedipus Rex.  You live and learn.  Alice regressed to baby self and entertained herself in the baby car seat the whole time.  I hope baby X survives his second mother and makes it to at least a year, when he'll be able to defend himself a bit.

Saturday we invited the whole Baker clan to the train museum in Salisbury with us, but for various reasons only Andrea, SP and Libby came.  It was cold, wet, and my kids (mainly Rex who then convinces Alice) are afraid of just about everything.  Rex refused to climb ladders to look into train windows, nearly wet himself on the turn table--where the turn trains around (it went about 0.5 miles per hour--I literally had to carry him), and covered his ears every time he thought he might hear a train.  Alice, on the other hand, often forgot she was supposed to be afraid of these things and actually enjoyed herself on the turn table and climbed a few ladders (thus ruining the white cardigan I had dressed her in), until Rex reminded her that she should be afraid.  Good times.

Riding the train to the museum

He looks happy here, but we had to tell him for about 3 days that the train would not be scary or loud.

He refused to be in the picture because the train might be loud in the near future

Forcing Rex onto the turn table.

Rex's favorite part--pretending to drive the train.  He did this for like an hour while we waited for the train back to the car.

Things that stress me out

I'm writing this post for two reasons.

First, a few weeks ago, I was chatting with some friends and they mentioned that they need to write in their journals more but that they only write the bad things in their journals and the good things on their blogs so people reading their journals are going to think they're super angry.  I do the same thing.  Then I thought, How silly.  I don't want my blog to be full of complaints and woe-is-me posts, but I also want it to be real--like my life is pretty good, but crappy things happen too that stress me out and make me want to vomit every time my phone makes any sort of noise.

And second, about a month ago I was preparing a lesson on adversity to the Laurels when I realized how much more my life sucked and was stressful in high school and college.  I felt like a little ball of stress with a huge stress cloud not only following me around but actually sitting on me.  And most of that stress was over whether or not I'd be able to finish my reading.  Now, as a super old and mature adult, when I have real problems--real things that could be of eternal significance, I don't feel like that any more.  Sure, the last few months, I've felt like I've been pulling around a little stress cloud, but it doesn't hang over me or sit on me like it use to.  Life is good despite the little cloud.  I've learned that it's all going to be ok.  Heavenly Father is there for me.  He always has been and always will be.  I do the best I can with the tools I have, and He makes up the rest.  And the older I get, and the more I test and try Him, the more I learn to just trust Him.  And it's all going to be ok.

Since June I've had two major things stressing me out.

First, baby.  I knew exactly who would (in theory) deliver this baby--Christine.  The amazing midwife who was supposed to deliver Alice had we made it to the birth center.  So I called and made an appointment with her.  Then I called the insurance company.  They don't cover her but I can get an in network exception if I get an in-network doctor to call the insurance company and refer me to her.  Just getting this information took several phone calls and just as many hours on the phone.  So I start my search for a in-network doctor who will do this for me.  After getting several no's, I finally found Dr. Cynthia Jamison.  I could kiss her.  She is completely understanding of my situation.  She and all her staff know my name and the names of my children.  She got me the in-network exception.  But not before I get a terrible call from my midwife--the birth center lost its license and had been closed down.  Hopefully (this was the first of September) it would reopen in a few weeks.  So I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Six weeks went by and I finally called Christine back.  The birth center still wasn't opened but she was operating independently as a home-birth midwife, but she can't deliver babies in North Carolina so we'd have to rent a hotel or an apartment in South Carolina for the birth.  Worth it.  We stuck with Christine and I worked out in my head how we would sneak in the back door of a hotel to birth a baby there.

Then it was time for the ultrasound.  For insurance purposes and thanks again to Dr. Jamison, I went to cancer screening center with a super weird tech who refused to commit to a gender despite very obvious features.  Two days later I get a call from Dr. Jamison telling me that the ventricles on the baby's head were measuring a bit large and she wanted the ultrasound redone by an OB/GYN and that I most likely would now have to have a hospital birth and possible a child with hydrocephalus.  So she makes the appointment for me, but it's a month away.  November 16.  I go to the appointment and make the mistake of telling them that I just wanted a follow-up ultrasound but wasn't yet prepared to transfer care to their practice until after we get the results from the ultrasound.  The nurse then politely tells me to leave since they don't just do ultrasounds (see why I hate doctors--why can't I just have a-la-cart medical care?  I'm pretty smart.  I can figure it out.)  I call Dr. Jamison and tell her what happens.  She gives me some advice and I call to make another appointment.  But they don't have one for another month (again, why I hate most doctor's offices--seriously a month?  You are soooo busy you can't see me for a month.  No thank you.  Dr. Jamison, by the way, always has time for me or my kiddos).  December 16 rolls around and Greg and I again make the 35 minute drive to the OB/GYN where we are asked the same annoying questions like a million times before being told that there is no room in the ultrasound schedule for another week.  We were both annoyed by this.  Finally, the Friday after Christmas we get the follow up ultrasound--it had been like 2 months of a little nagging, what if I have to deliver in a hospital?  How will I emotionally handle that?  I was not ok for a least a year after Rex was born.  Hospitals and me don't mix.  By the way, I was not worried about the baby at all, because I can handle a difficult baby and doctors seem to be a bit more concerned about just about everything than I think they should be.  I knew baby would be fine.  The problem was convincing the doctors that the baby was fine.  So, we get the ultrasound and guess what: baby is fine.  Oh, and did I add that the Saturday before Christmas I got the best call in the world from Christine: the birth center reopened!  And so now we have the doctors convinced that baby is fine and a place to have baby.  Now all I need to do it inventory my baby stuff and start shopping for the last few things.  Oh, and pick a name, but we'll get to that later.

Looking (butt) fat at Allen's wedding--somewhere in the early 20's week wise

On Christmas Eve (this is for Amber)--about 29 weeks.

Second, and this is the one that makes me want to puke everything my phone goes off for any reason.  Our house in Provo.  It all started in June when our upstairs tenets moved out.  Then I had to find new renters.  Which I did.  We got the deposit and the contract and things were great.  And then I went to Utah and saw the house, and it was not great.  And then my new tenet showed up and things were really not great.  She pointed out several things and basically said she would not be moving in.  So my mom, dad and I spent the next eight hours feverishly cleaning the house and trying to get into shape so she'd move in (this is after the 3 days I'd already spent cleaning up the garage and yard).  She moved in.  And she paid her rent.  But she continued to call me about this and that that was wrong.  And I started to avoid my phone.  September rolls around and the guy in the basement can only pay half his rent.  Then October and he can't pay any of it.  Luckily, he decides to move out so we don't have to evict him.  I post the apartment on Craigslist and spend two days on the phone with potential renters.  Then the girl upstairs calls and tells me what the downstairs looks like.  It's bad.  I take the post down and Greg books a flight to Utah--the weekend of his brother's wedding.  He gets there and finds that not only is the guy not out of the basement but that the ceiling in the bathroom is seriously bowed and is going to need to be replaced.  Greg drives to Las Vegas where I meet him for the wedding.  Greg goes back to Utah and ends up replacing the floor in the bathroom upstairs due to a leaking toilet and finds a tenet.

The floor upstairs rotting away

Major thank you to my brother's BYU ward--they cleaned the entire apartment top to bottom BYU cleaning check out style in less than two hours.  Because even though he was 2 1/2 months behind on rent, tenet didn't feel the need to clean before he left.

 Life was good.  But then the tenet can't pay his rent.  Two days and he can't pay it.  He's trying to get a non-profit organization to pay it.  So I spend hours on the phone with them and write five versions of the contract and wait.  In the meantime, homeboy gets drunk.  So drunk that the girl upstairs calls the police.  I wake up Sunday morning to a million texts and threats of moving out.  We resolve the issue and move on.  The rent finally comes.  And guess who gets drunk again and decides to do some home improvement at 2 am?  The police were called again.  This time I spent 3 days on the phone with various property managers and lawyers just to find out that there's not much I can do.  He's an adult; he can get drunk all he wants.  Then the girl upstairs calls about her bathtub clogging.  Then the guy downstairs makes a snow penis in the front yard.  Then there might be a gas leak...then he can't pay his rent...then it's going to cost $550 to fix the bathtub...then I just want to throw up.

But you know what?  It's all going to be ok.  Because Heavenly Father has been and always will be there for me and if I just trust him, things are going to be ok.  Not necessarily the way I had things planned, but the way He has things planned and His plans usually work out better than mine.  Just know if I don't answer the phone one day, it's because the sight of the phone makes me sick, not because I don't like you.

2013: A Reflection

I'd like to point out that in the title I used a semi-colon--as in a two part title--as in the type of title one might use in a academic paper.  So don't expect anything too cute or funny or even short in this post, because, as mentioned in the title it's a reflection.

New Years day I took down the Christmas decorations--it was time.  Rex had been asking about it.  And I was beginning to feel a little crowded and dusty (seriously though, how am I supposed to dust my Christmas tree?  Eventually is will collect dust if I leave it out long enough).  As I was pulling off the last of the ribbon and bemoaning how much I hate putting up/taking down the Christmas decorations, I realized that I am happier than I've been in a while.  While Charlotte is still not the ideal place to live, guess what neither is Provo.  In fact, people die every day to get out both.  Earth in general is not the ideal place to live; it's just where we have to live until we die and go to heaven.  So until that day, Charlotte will just have to do.  Besides, I pretty much have the best kids on the planet and Greg is pretty amazing too (I have a whole Greg post coming up soon--a little something to look forward to).  Also, I love my house and have the best neighbors on the planet.  Seriously, will somebody bury me next to Becky Wheatley when I die?  I already promised her I'd carry her dead body back to Utah when she dies, so will someone do the same for me?  Life is good.  And I've got plans to make it better in 2014.

But first, 2013.  As a refresher, here are my 2013 goals:

1. Don't talk about money.
2. Magnify my calling.
3. Go to the temple at least 4 times (don't judge--it's at least a 9 hour and $100 commitment here...whelp there goes #1).
4. Graduate.
5. Move.
6. Totally finish at least 2 values for Personal Progress.
7. Sew something I'm proud of.
8. Improve my scripture study.
9. Eight's a good number.  I'll stop there.

And here's how I did:
1. Ok.  I still talked about money, but more in a way of "how can I care less about money and more about important things like my family" way than in a "I need more money way."  Because let's be honest here, you, I , we will never have more money than we have wants.  The key is to control the wants and be more satisfied with what you have so you don't have to think about what you want all the time.
2. Ok. Some of my lessons rocked this year--like my lesson on chastity.  Amazing.  Some did not.  I also did better at going to more events, though not a ton.  The youth have a lot of activities.  And I have children that need tending to. (I'm the Laurel advisor--in case you were wondering.)
3.Check and check.  I almost made it 5 times, but the fifth would have been on the same day as Allen's wedding and I didn't really want to cut it close with that.  I'm calling it good at 4.
4. Check.  Finished with a 4.0 too.  This is my blog: I can brag all I want.
5. Yes.  Only took a broken water pipe and six months in boxes but we did it.  And now we live by the Wheatleys (yes, that's me bragging again, because you should be jealous--and yes, our entire family has a sick obsession with the Wheatleys).
6. Finished 3--thank you very much Rex.  Turns out Rex memorizing the 13 Articles of Faith counts as a Value Project for me because I had to teach them to him.  Too bad that was super easy because he's super smart--just don't tell him that.  His head is big enough already.
7.  Did you see my Halloween costumes?  That counts.
8.  Try the new youth curriculum Come Follow Me.  Amazing.  I learned so much from the much needed scripture study guidance it gave.

Overall, I did pretty well with my 2013 goals.

And now, for a break from all the talking with a few pictures.  New Year's Eve, Greg and I went to dinner and movie, but Rex was sad that he was getting left at home on a holiday, so I made a little party for him and Alice while we were gone.  Because sometimes I'm a good mom and do stuff for my kids (I've been feeling like a bad, neglectful mom the last few days, so I'm trying to remind myself that I don't always suck).  Basically, I put all the supplies and directions for Minute-to-Win-It games in bags for the kids to open every 15 minutes.  Greg and I hung around for the first few games before my in-laws showed up to watch the kiddos for us.  Rex said he had a lot of fun playing all the games and was still in bed by 8.  He doesn't need to know about the whole midnight thing for a few more years.

I'm so cute right?  You should pin this...oh wait, I got it from Pinterest and it was way cuter there, so never you mind.

Stack attack.

Alice didn't get the whole build a tower thing.  She just moved her cups from one pile to the other, but she had fun.

Elephant March--they thought this was pretty hilarious.

Greg and I also had a lovely evening out minus the guy who texted throughout the ENTIRE movie sitting directly in front of us and the lady who brought her 3-year-old twins to a 9:15 showing of the Hunger Games.  Seriously people?  Seriously?

And now, back to talking.  My 2014 goal is pretty simple: it's SIMPLIFY.  I want to simplify my life so I can get rid of the less important in favor of the most important.  I want to simplify in a few areas:

1. Food.  I started today by buying actual butter instead of margarine.  Butter has 2 ingredients, both of which I can pronounce; margarine has like 10, most of which I can pronounce, but only because I'm super smart (see #4 above).  I also bought 2 weeks worth of food so I don't have to go back.  Simple--one trip lots of food.  Also, plant a garden.
2. Finances.  As mentioned in #1 above I will never have more money than I can spend.  Unless, I want less and am satisfied with more.  My life is simpler when I shop less--fewer things for my kids to touch and break and ask for; fewer decisions over which brand of whatever to buy; fewer transactions to keep track of and verify and check when I pay the bills.  Shop less; live more.  It's pretty simple.  I'm trying to keep errand running to every other Saturday.  I'd also like to try a week long financial fast where neither Greg nor I spend any money for a week.  I'll see if I can talk Greg into it.
3. Cleaning.  I spend a lot of time tidying up.  If I could figure out a way to do that less, then I'd have more time to do things like play with my children.  In order to do that, I may have to get rid of my children as they are the main mess-making culprits.  Hmmm, this may be more difficult than I imagined.
4. Family.  Spend more real time with them.
5. Church.  Continue to improve my scripture study and finish 2 values for Personal Progress.
6.  Focus on the most important over the nice.  Keep it simple and say no more.  No to extra and yes to the essentials.

I know these are somewhat abstract goals, but so is my main goal.  I just want to be happier with and more grateful for what I have and less focused on what I could one day maybe have in the future.

The end.  Congratulations for reading all the way to end.