5.6.11: The Ultra Sound

I could not sleep last night. I was really nervous about this ultra sound--boy or girl, boy or girl? For some reason, so much more rested on this ultra sound. It had to be boy. Rex needs a little friend. And I had about twenty boxes and nice baby boy clothes. And I love Rex's room and don't want to have to change it for a girl. And I don't like pink. So I couldn't sleep. (Besides, I actually have friends with this baby, so they kept asking and guessing and reminding me of the coming ultra sound). I had at least a million dreams about the ultra sound and every time I woke up, I couldn't remember what the gender was. It was like I was going to Disneyland, but had to take a final first. So when Rex came and woke me up at 6 this morning, it was kind of a relief to finally be able to get out of bed.

Rex and I colored for a while before getting ready. Then I packed us in the car, dropped Rex off at Great-Grandma Robins house, where pretty-good Grandpa Brian watched him, and then I met Greg at the doctor's office.

And then we waited.

And waited.

And we were the only ones in the waiting room.

And still we waited.

Finally, we got called back and it began. I have a video of the whole thing, but even I think it's a bit dry so I'll spare you, but here are a few pictures from the ultra sound. Look closely at the last one and see if you can figure out the gender. It's fairly obvious. I could tell right away.

(So the pictures are side ways...I don't know what Blogger's problem is, but I give up trying to fix it.)

Profile

Side view of body and arm #1
Mild fetal pornography

My Jedi mind tricks apparently didn't work so well on this one.

So am I disappointed? A little. My stomach dropped a bit when I notice the lack of appendage. I really wanted Rex to have a little friend. And I love boys. When I was teaching, my favorite students were always boys. There's just something about little boys that I love.

But mostly I'm nervous, and I think this is also why I wanted a boy so bad. I know I know how to take care of a little boy--I already did that. But little girls are different.

Ok, they really aren't that different.

But then again, they are.

I've spent the last few years figuring out how to build train sets and play cars. Now I have to remember how to play girl things. Not that it's that much different but it is.

And how do you dress a little girl? And do her hair? And change her diaper? And...everything else that is probably 99.9% the same as a little boy, but it's that .1% that makes me nervous.

I wasn't nervous when I had Rex because I knew I would just have him and could focus on just him, and was excited about being an experienced mom this time and things were going to be easier. But now it's a girl, and that's different.

Too different.

And I'm not so sure how I feel about all this different.

I know I'll still love this baby (Alice Chlotelle as of this moment)--I'm not worried about that in the least, and I know things will be fine once she gets here, but for now...

I'm going to go shopping tomorrow to get myself excited about how cute little girl clothes are and maybe once I have something girl-y, I won't be so nervous anymore.

On the bright side, Alice (for now) was measuring 8 days small, and Greg and I were able to convince the midwife to push the due date back a week so as to avoid the nonsense we had to deal with with Rex. This mean I get to relive week 20 of the pregnancy and that our new due date is September 24--I'm shooting for October 1 for birth day, as it is my favorite day of the year.