Zora's Tummy Troubles

Thursday night Zora woke up grunting, groaning, red-faced and screaming.  I attempted to comfort her but comfort was not to be had, so I packed her and drove to the grocery store for some pear juice and prune juice only to realize half way there that I was in my Spandex and slippers.  I didn't go home.  The people had at the grocery story could just deal with it.  

After some pear juice, Zora enjoyed her first bath in the big bath.

I, in my sleep-deprived, semi-conscious mostly delusion state contemplated my life choices.

First, I was having an experience similar to what the don't-take-drugs videos say taking drugs is like, just much less fun.  Because if taking drugs is like being sleep deprived, why would anyone do drugs more than once?

Second, kids are the worst.  Why?  Why are kids so bad?  Since we're commanded to have children, I would think that Heavenly Father would make children less terrible.  I would be richer, sleep more, clean less, and not wake up with a back ache every morning from whatever child not-so-quietly snuck into my bed during the night if I didn't have children.  Then I thought maybe there's something about the dissociative state of little sleep that allows the Spirit to speak to us and teach us things in way he can't when we are fully rested.  And then I had a really lovely thought about children and how adorable they are, but I don't remember what it was.  Lack of sleep will do that to you.  In fact lack of sleep is making stringing together a coherent sentence right now, let alone an entire blog post, that was originally intended to be insightful and philosophical about the relationship between parents and children and us and our Heavenly Father, a bit difficult.

I eventually convinced Zora to go back to sleep before finishing the dishes and folding a few loads of laundry.

On the bright side, I got a new book about how to help babies sleep better without having to cry it out and I'm seeing a chiropractor tomorrow.  

But I couldn't concentrate on doing dishes tonight so I also have that to look forward to in the morning.

Zora enjoying her late-night bath

Zora learned  a new trick this week (sitting up on her own)

Zora enjoyed reading some books while I got ready one morning.

She also enjoys her toe.

Zora enjoyed some carrots and apple sauce until they blocked her so we're back to just milk for a few days

Zora helped me do some yard work in her hoodie-onesie.  I want one.

Warning This Gets Political

America and I broke up this week.

I fell asleep on the couch Tuesday night watching election results come in and the chances of a Hillary victory slip away.  Greg woke me up at 11:30 and I moved to my bed.  I checked the electoral tally one more time and comforted myself by saying it was in God's hands.  And then I had the horrible realization that maybe it wasn't.  Maybe God has washed his hands of us and is letting us reap the benefits of our wickedness.  Trump is the epitome of moral-less, selfishness, shallow pride.  I fell asleep again praying that if nothing else Heavenly Father would protect my children from the hate slowly taking over the country.

Wednesday morning Rex missed the bus because we couldn't fathom a Trump win.  Walking to the car in the bright morning sun and driving to school felt strange and normal.  Nothing should fell normal anymore.  Some how the impossible had happened and Donald Trump, the one we had laughed at when he announced his candidacy, had beaten Hillary Clinton.  I think I was expecting bombs to start falling.  I joked to a friend that this was the first of the seven trumps before the Second Coming, but I don't know how much I was actually joking.

I was confused because life kept going.  People posted about their cute kids and their #ootd on Instagram as if our world hadn't just ended.  All I wanted to hear about was the election and yet every time I turned on the news I wanted to throw up.

Wednesday afternoon I sat in the driveway holding Zora and watching the kids of the Compound run around in the slanted fall sunlight as if nothing had changed.  But the pit in my stomach knew better.  I told Greg I felt like I did on 9/11.  That there was a before 9/11 and a now.  There was a before Trump and a now, but I don't know what that now looks like and what freedoms Trumps supporters have lost for me.

That night I turned on NPR and heard the voice of Robert Seagull affirm that Trump had won the election.  A wave of comfort and stability washed over me.  Robert Seagull has never lied to me.  He is with me and grounds me to American soil no matter where I am.  He was the voice of the familiar when we moved to North Carolina and everything was new and different.  He is the voice of the same.  His voice in his deep and even tone brought the absurd surreality of Washington politics to my reality.  Donald Trump is going to be the new president.  But Robert Seagull is still announcing the evening news.  It's going to be OK. For now.

I fell asleep Wednesday night praying that my white children would be protected from the backlash of a Trump victory and that the children of Hillary supporters would be protected from a Trump presidency.

Thursday I was still in a bubble of surreality as I continued to awe at people continuing with their lives, when I finally placed the feeling.  This is exactly how I felt when Greg and I broke up back in college.  I had taken for granted that I would marry him just as I assumed that Hillary would be the president.  I was disappointed, lost, confused, and most of all sick.

I have never felt so distant from my fellow Americans.  I assumed that a handful of crazies would vote for Trump but that the majority of logical people would vote for Hillary and I was wrong.  Americans and I do not have as many shared values as I thought.  My religion has long separated me from popular culture but I thought most Americans were inclusive, loving and kind.  But isolation, hate, and selfishness won.  Not to mention the fantasy dream of a Trump economy and healthcare plan.

And so now I'm angry.  Angry at everyone who did not vote for Hillary.  This is your fault.  People who voted for Trump.  People who did not vote at all.  And even people who voted for third party candidates.  And that includes Gary Johnson, who doesn't know what Aleppo is and wants to get rid of the Department of Commerce, Department of Education and the IRS.  I'm not sure exactly what the Department of Commerce and Education do, but neither does Gary Johnson.

Why is politics the only career where we want inexperienced people who don't know what they're doing in the job?  I'd take the surgeon with 10 years of experience over the one just out of medical school any day.  But not the politician.  Don't let the person with 30 years of experience do that job.  She might actually know what she's doing.  And if we really wanted a rich white guy to be the president, why couldn't we have elected Mitt Romney four years ago?  He's rich, he's white, but he's kind and has experience.  And I have a news flash for you: manufacturing is not coming back.  Coal production is bad for the environment.  ObamaCare has helped more people, including me, than it's hurt.  Trump is a failed business man.  He went bankrupt in the mid 90s.  You cannot run a country like you run a business.  Lives, human lives, are at stake, not just your share-holders capital.

I'm not saying that I support the protests.  I don't.  I accept Donald Trump as the new normal.  Because that's what Americans do.  Or at least what I thought Americans did, participate in the peaceful transfer of power, but then again, I don't think I'm much of an American and I definitely don't understand American values anymore.

Greg's been trying to comfort me this week.  Maybe Trump's ineptitude and the general dislike for him in Washington will force Congress to actually do something.  To retake power from the White House by actually passing laws and overriding Executive Orders.  Or maybe Trump will be the ultimate pragmatist.  He said whatever he had to say to get into office.  Maybe he'll just keep doing and saying what he has to say to maintain peace.

I hope we don't make American Great Again.  I hope we don't go back to a time where white men homogenized every other group and class of people.  I hope we maintain our freedom of speech and religion.  I hope Trump doesn't follow through on his campaign promise.  But most of all, I hope we make it through to the next election in one piece.

New Rule

After reading a few too many parenting books to try to figure out how to get Henry to stop hitting (he's getting better by the way), I decided that my kids watch entirely too much TV.  So I implemented a new rule: play outside for 1 hour, get 1/2 of TV on week days or 1 hour on weekends.   It was  a little painful at first.  The kids would just sit outside not knowing how to play outside, but now, a month later, they rarely watch TV.  Maybe once a week Rex will cash in his playtime but they get so distracted playing outside they don't have time to to watch TV any more.

And it's been really good.  Alice is no longer a vampire; she goes right to bed at night.  The house stays pretty clean.  Ok that was a lie.  But the kids do sleep better at night.  They fight less and play more.  There spirit in our home is better.  Not that the kids were watching bad shows but the lack of TV forces them to interact in more positive ways.  And I get to feel like a good mom because I can say, "We don't watch TV at our house" while looking down my nose at all the other moms.

I do miss it though.  I miss being able to plop the kids in front of the TV so I could shower or nap or mop the floor in peace.  Henry doesn't nap anymore even though he really needs to so our afternoons are no longer the quiet, peaceful, relaxing afternoons that I used to not kill my children and regain my zen for after school and dinner and bedtime.  Now it's just chaos all the time.  Especially Henry as he gets more and more tired through the afternoon.  Around 4, I usually can't handle the noise and mess and complaining anymore and send everybody outside, where they slowly make their way over to the Wheatley's and the trampoline.  Becky is such a good person.

Now I just need to figure out how to get Henry to nap again.  He is so much better behaved when he's not exhausted all the time.

Greg built the kids a deathtrap/fort/elevated platform to play on with I first decreed outside playtime.  They spend a lot of time on it.

Halloween Etc

First, pumpkin carving, which was a fairly painless experience this year. Rex carved his own; Alice mostly carved her own; Henry and Greg worked together; and I took pictures and scrapped out a few guts.  I'm trying to not worry so much about messes and to just let the kids be kids.  This day, I didn't insist that the entire house be clean before we make a mess, and it worked out just fine.  I think we even ate dinner outside after so we could prolong the pumpkin mess.

Saturday was the ward Trunk or Treat, and as a self-proclaimed Trunk or Treat expert, I'd say this was one of the better ones I've been to.  Grant it, they didn't announce the starting time, so we showed up an hour early  (oops), the food wasn't ready on time, there wasn't enough food, they failed to announce that people were supposed to bring desserts and there weren't enough tables and chairs set up, BUT because it was just our ward and it was outside, I felt comfortable letting the kids run around and enjoy their friends on a friend holiday.    I even let them trunk or treat on their own, which took a lot of stress off of me trying to keep everyone together and happy, but I think the kids had more fun running around with their friends.  The reason why this was ok, AND the reason this was one of the better trunk or treats I've been to: after dinner the bishopric gathered all the kids around and gave the adults two to three minutes to get out the candy and they set limits of where the kids could go.  It was nice having an official start time and not just have people awkwardly start walking around they want.

Alice and her bestie Lottie

Jack and Henry

Piper, Hazel and Alice

Rex, Derick, Will and Jack

Now, onto the costumes.  I'm pretty proud of myself for these--I costumed the entire family and decorated our van for less than $50.  

First, the family:

 Aren't we adorable?  We're SuperHeroes.  Greg is Alfred, Batman's butler.  And Rex is an eagle.  He doesn't like to play along with my silly games.

So in case you want to copy me, here's how I did the costumes.

Me: I'm Batman.  I wore my black spandex and a black long-sleeved shirt that I wear all the time but my friends were all impressed by my sexy Batman.  It was more like work-out Batman who straightened her hair, but I digress.  I made a felt belt that I sewed the Batman logo onto and I quick-stitched that Batman logo on my shirt as well.  I safety pinned one of Alice's play Batman capes to my back.  BAM.  done.  Although cutting all those Batman logos was a pain.

Greg: Alfred the Butler.  He wore slacks, a white shirt, cardigan and tie that he already had.  Then we sprayed his hair gray to look like Michael Cain.  $2.  BAM.  Done.

Rex: Eagle.  This was a slightly annoying because he decided he wanted the feathers to be sewn on a different way than I had originally thought I would, so I had to hand sew them on.  And then for the head I was just going to sew a white hood with a yellow beak on but then I saw a more detailed version on Pinterest so of course I had to do that.  So for his costume, I got a brown hoodie and brown pants from a consignment store, then hand sewed felt feathers onto the arms, machine sewed the tail on (thank goodness), and pieced together this ridiculous hood.  But he was happy with it.

Alice: She started the Super Hero theme by wanting to be Wonder Woman.  For her, I bought a long-sleeved red shirt at a consignment store, because it's October.  I used freezer paper as a stencil to paint the Wonder Woman design on the front.  For the skirt, I used an old cape we've had laying around for years.  I sewed up the sides and added 3 felt stars.  For the head band I use Peltex in between 2 layers of gold and pattern I found on Pinterest.  The I used elastic in the back to keep it on her head.   I used the same pattern to make the belt, but this time I used felt for shape and only did 1 layer of gold fabric, but I cut it big so I could fold it around the felt and sewed that in place.  The arm bands are also Peltex.  I just wrapped some Peltex around her forearm cut, and sewed gold fabric on the top.  Then I cut the feet off an old pair of Rex's baseball socks because Alice hates stuff on her feet to make the boots.  I think Alice was a little disappointed in her costume because I made an appropriate for end of October and little girls version.  She got over it.

Henry: wanted to be Robin because he likes to wear Alice's Robin tutu around.  It took a bit of convincing to have his wear this more masculine version.  For Henry, I bought another plain red shirt from the consignment store, cut the sleeves off and re-hemed the now-tank top.  I made a Robin logo out of felt, which I sewed to the shirt and some yellow decoration.  He wore an old green long sleeved shirt of Rex's underneath that with some of Alice's yellow leggings, the cape from the tutu costume and the belt from the tutu costume.

 Zora: Super Girl!  For her, I bought a long sleeved blue onesie at the consignment store to which I sewed the Super Man logo.  Then I made her a red circle skirt, which I didn't bother to hem or make a real casing for, I just sewed the elastic right on.  Then I made a cape which I also did not hem, that I sewed the Super Man logo to and safety pinned to her shirt.  Can you tell, hers was the last costume.  I was so sick of all my sewing stuff being out that I just wanted every thing done.  She was also the only kid not bugging me about costumes.

For the car, I made a city sky line out of black foam board, yellow poster board, hot glue and 2 1/2 hours of my life.  I added some crepe paper that I already had to finish off the look.

Monday night, we had an uneventful but super fun nonetheless night trick or treating with the Wheatley's.  Henry eventually fell asleep on the stroller so I headed back to the Overson's and hung out by their fire until the other kids were done.  

My Favorite Children

I love all my children.  They are all so special.  Some are just more *special* than others.  Alice has been into biting people lately and other odd/disgusting habits.  And Henry is just a mess most of the time. Some children in this family are, well, better behaved.

For the purpose of this blog post, let's define favorite children as the ones who are easier to care for/neglect because they don't demand as much attention as others.  As a side note, I've long wondered why Heavenly Father designed babies to have to nurse for so long or even at all.  Why can't we just feed them mush from day one?  Because if that were true Zora would get zero attention. Nursing her, forces me to pay at least some attention to her every 2-3 hours.

Moving on.  As indicated by the title and the later definition of terms, this post is about my favorite children: Rex and Zora.

Rex still talks nearly constantly but he's at school most of the day.  Then he has homework when he gets home, which still takes him an hour to to do but he does it mostly by himself and without too much complaining.  But he's sweet.  He gives me random hugs throughout the day; usually just rebuilds whichever tower Henry knocked over that Rex was working on; rides his bike like a champ; and is gaining independence, even though I don't really think he wants to.

Tuesday we had 9 am dentist appointments so we didn't have to get up as early but my alarm went off at the same time.  I told Rex I was sleeping in a bit, but he, not remembering he didn't have to catch the bus, got up, got dressed, and then made his own breakfast, all without complaint.  I'm sure he was feeling a bit neglected but he did it any way.  He's also pretty funny.   This week after driving past a Trump sign he said, "This is an important election.  We're either going to have the first really tan president or the first woman president."  I laughed.

Rex has also decided that since his last name is Baker, he should learn how to bake.  This week he made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and then pumpkin pie bars (from a box) all by himself.  I gave him the recipes but he did the rest--ok I put stuff in the oven and take it out for him.  But everything else he does on his own.  And he is quite the baker.  His creations have been big hits.

Now Zora.  She is just the most content, mellow baby.  She's the baby that I always looked at jealously at church as my kids was crawling over benches and screaming and pulling hair.  She just likes to sit and play with one toy at a time.   She doesn't have much interest in rolling over so we can put her just about anywhere and she counts her left foot as a legitimate toy.  She takes an hour or 2 long nap in the morning (at 8 on the dot), followed by a short siesta as Grandpa Dick would say while we're out and about and then will sleep another 2-4 hours in the afternoon followed by a another little nap at night before going to be around 9.  I mean, who can really complain about a baby who sleeps that much.  She's not a great night sleeper, but she also sleeps really well in bed with me so it doesn't really matter.  She's pretty golden.

She also, apparently, never wears clothes.