Thanksgiving(s)

I feel the need to mention, however briefly, that my new favorite holiday is Friendsgiving.  It's like Thanksgiving only we celebrate the Saturday before Thanksgiving and it's with friends not family.  Not that I don't like family, because you know I do, but my friends here have become another family for me.  I refer to them as frousins (friends+cousins) in my head because that's what it feels like when I'm with them.  I didn't take any actual pictures of the event because it's kind of a hush-hush thing since we don't want people who weren't invited to feel bad, but at some point you just have to stop inviting people because Becky's house is only so big.  Anyway, the food was amazing, the company was spectacular and Friendsgiving has overtaken Halloween as my favorite holiday, by far.

For actual Thanksgiving, we went to Kentucky to visit Greg's grandma.  Greg's brother, wife and daughter were staying at Nana's so we got a hotel, and I'm really glad we did.  The first few days we were there, I'll be honest, I wondered why we had bothered going.  We're like a traveling circus and we're a lot for an 80-something year-old grandmother to handle.  Nana went to bed at 7 on Thanksgiving we had so worn her out.  I went back to the hotel ready to pack and leave.  We were just too much.  Someone should put us in the zoo.

Friday we decided to give Nana a break from us and went to to state park near by.  We went to a nature center and a bison/elk drive through thing.  We had also planned to hike but it was just too cold.  We also hit up a Christmas village and Cracker Barrel.  We stopped by Nana's that night to say hi but left before wearing her out.

Saturday was the most fun.  We spent the day at Greg's aunt's house and she had her five grandchildren over too (ages 6, 5, 2, 2, and 2 weeks--perfect for our circus).  The kids took right to each other and spent the day running around outside, jumping on the trampoline, riding around on the Gator, playing in the toy room, and just doing what cousins do.  It was pretty magical.  Nana was there too so we got to visit with her without wearing her out and destroying her house.

Sunday we ate a big breakfast at Nana's before heading home.  The drive there we made with only 2 stops but Zora was having none of that on the way home. We had to stop 4 or 5 times.  We didn't get home until 8 or 9.  I ended up letting Rex sleep in on Monday and taking him to school late.  (I'm at that point in the school year where I don't really care--I don't have how I'm going to get through high school 4 more times, it was hard enough the first time.)

In the end, I'm glad we went.  First, staying five days in a hotel was really nice.  We got two rooms so I just had Rex and Zora with me in one room and I had to go to bed with them around 9 every night since the internet at the hotel sucked and I had to turn the lights off for them to sleep. Getting that much sleep is just magical.  I also didn't have to make beds, do dishes, or laundry for five days and I didn't have that voice in the back of my head reminding me that the kids are still at home making a mess, because they weren't, they were with me destroying Nana's house.  It was lovely.  Second, I really like Greg's family and it was nice to finally get to spend some time with his cousins and get to know them a bit.  Three, the kids had fun with their cousins.  I have so many fond memories of playing with all my cousins growing up, I'd be so sad if my kids didn't have the same.

Princeton didn't have a 5K Turkey Trot so I just ran on my own.  I won.

Playing cards Thanksgiving night.

Oh look, Henry getting into something he shouldn't.

Henry made fast friend's with his cousin Case, who is also a rough and tumble boy.

Chilling in the hotel

Feeding turkey's at the nature center

Zora checking out the bison.

More bison

at the Christmas village

Bed jumping.

On Saturday the kids wanted to just run around, so we took them to an awesome park in downtown Princeton

All the 2-year-old cousins going for a Gator ride

Greg's aunt and uncle live on 160 acre farm--like a real farm.  Pretty crazy. And beautiful.  Every time we visit Princeton, I just want to move there.  And then I remember they don't have a Target and get over that one real quick.

Rex and Kenday played all day.

Zora's Tummy Troubles

Thursday night Zora woke up grunting, groaning, red-faced and screaming.  I attempted to comfort her but comfort was not to be had, so I packed her and drove to the grocery store for some pear juice and prune juice only to realize half way there that I was in my Spandex and slippers.  I didn't go home.  The people had at the grocery story could just deal with it.  

After some pear juice, Zora enjoyed her first bath in the big bath.

I, in my sleep-deprived, semi-conscious mostly delusion state contemplated my life choices.

First, I was having an experience similar to what the don't-take-drugs videos say taking drugs is like, just much less fun.  Because if taking drugs is like being sleep deprived, why would anyone do drugs more than once?

Second, kids are the worst.  Why?  Why are kids so bad?  Since we're commanded to have children, I would think that Heavenly Father would make children less terrible.  I would be richer, sleep more, clean less, and not wake up with a back ache every morning from whatever child not-so-quietly snuck into my bed during the night if I didn't have children.  Then I thought maybe there's something about the dissociative state of little sleep that allows the Spirit to speak to us and teach us things in way he can't when we are fully rested.  And then I had a really lovely thought about children and how adorable they are, but I don't remember what it was.  Lack of sleep will do that to you.  In fact lack of sleep is making stringing together a coherent sentence right now, let alone an entire blog post, that was originally intended to be insightful and philosophical about the relationship between parents and children and us and our Heavenly Father, a bit difficult.

I eventually convinced Zora to go back to sleep before finishing the dishes and folding a few loads of laundry.

On the bright side, I got a new book about how to help babies sleep better without having to cry it out and I'm seeing a chiropractor tomorrow.  

But I couldn't concentrate on doing dishes tonight so I also have that to look forward to in the morning.

Zora enjoying her late-night bath

Zora learned  a new trick this week (sitting up on her own)

Zora enjoyed reading some books while I got ready one morning.

She also enjoys her toe.

Zora enjoyed some carrots and apple sauce until they blocked her so we're back to just milk for a few days

Zora helped me do some yard work in her hoodie-onesie.  I want one.

Warning This Gets Political

America and I broke up this week.

I fell asleep on the couch Tuesday night watching election results come in and the chances of a Hillary victory slip away.  Greg woke me up at 11:30 and I moved to my bed.  I checked the electoral tally one more time and comforted myself by saying it was in God's hands.  And then I had the horrible realization that maybe it wasn't.  Maybe God has washed his hands of us and is letting us reap the benefits of our wickedness.  Trump is the epitome of moral-less, selfishness, shallow pride.  I fell asleep again praying that if nothing else Heavenly Father would protect my children from the hate slowly taking over the country.

Wednesday morning Rex missed the bus because we couldn't fathom a Trump win.  Walking to the car in the bright morning sun and driving to school felt strange and normal.  Nothing should fell normal anymore.  Some how the impossible had happened and Donald Trump, the one we had laughed at when he announced his candidacy, had beaten Hillary Clinton.  I think I was expecting bombs to start falling.  I joked to a friend that this was the first of the seven trumps before the Second Coming, but I don't know how much I was actually joking.

I was confused because life kept going.  People posted about their cute kids and their #ootd on Instagram as if our world hadn't just ended.  All I wanted to hear about was the election and yet every time I turned on the news I wanted to throw up.

Wednesday afternoon I sat in the driveway holding Zora and watching the kids of the Compound run around in the slanted fall sunlight as if nothing had changed.  But the pit in my stomach knew better.  I told Greg I felt like I did on 9/11.  That there was a before 9/11 and a now.  There was a before Trump and a now, but I don't know what that now looks like and what freedoms Trumps supporters have lost for me.

That night I turned on NPR and heard the voice of Robert Seagull affirm that Trump had won the election.  A wave of comfort and stability washed over me.  Robert Seagull has never lied to me.  He is with me and grounds me to American soil no matter where I am.  He was the voice of the familiar when we moved to North Carolina and everything was new and different.  He is the voice of the same.  His voice in his deep and even tone brought the absurd surreality of Washington politics to my reality.  Donald Trump is going to be the new president.  But Robert Seagull is still announcing the evening news.  It's going to be OK. For now.

I fell asleep Wednesday night praying that my white children would be protected from the backlash of a Trump victory and that the children of Hillary supporters would be protected from a Trump presidency.

Thursday I was still in a bubble of surreality as I continued to awe at people continuing with their lives, when I finally placed the feeling.  This is exactly how I felt when Greg and I broke up back in college.  I had taken for granted that I would marry him just as I assumed that Hillary would be the president.  I was disappointed, lost, confused, and most of all sick.

I have never felt so distant from my fellow Americans.  I assumed that a handful of crazies would vote for Trump but that the majority of logical people would vote for Hillary and I was wrong.  Americans and I do not have as many shared values as I thought.  My religion has long separated me from popular culture but I thought most Americans were inclusive, loving and kind.  But isolation, hate, and selfishness won.  Not to mention the fantasy dream of a Trump economy and healthcare plan.

And so now I'm angry.  Angry at everyone who did not vote for Hillary.  This is your fault.  People who voted for Trump.  People who did not vote at all.  And even people who voted for third party candidates.  And that includes Gary Johnson, who doesn't know what Aleppo is and wants to get rid of the Department of Commerce, Department of Education and the IRS.  I'm not sure exactly what the Department of Commerce and Education do, but neither does Gary Johnson.

Why is politics the only career where we want inexperienced people who don't know what they're doing in the job?  I'd take the surgeon with 10 years of experience over the one just out of medical school any day.  But not the politician.  Don't let the person with 30 years of experience do that job.  She might actually know what she's doing.  And if we really wanted a rich white guy to be the president, why couldn't we have elected Mitt Romney four years ago?  He's rich, he's white, but he's kind and has experience.  And I have a news flash for you: manufacturing is not coming back.  Coal production is bad for the environment.  ObamaCare has helped more people, including me, than it's hurt.  Trump is a failed business man.  He went bankrupt in the mid 90s.  You cannot run a country like you run a business.  Lives, human lives, are at stake, not just your share-holders capital.

I'm not saying that I support the protests.  I don't.  I accept Donald Trump as the new normal.  Because that's what Americans do.  Or at least what I thought Americans did, participate in the peaceful transfer of power, but then again, I don't think I'm much of an American and I definitely don't understand American values anymore.

Greg's been trying to comfort me this week.  Maybe Trump's ineptitude and the general dislike for him in Washington will force Congress to actually do something.  To retake power from the White House by actually passing laws and overriding Executive Orders.  Or maybe Trump will be the ultimate pragmatist.  He said whatever he had to say to get into office.  Maybe he'll just keep doing and saying what he has to say to maintain peace.

I hope we don't make American Great Again.  I hope we don't go back to a time where white men homogenized every other group and class of people.  I hope we maintain our freedom of speech and religion.  I hope Trump doesn't follow through on his campaign promise.  But most of all, I hope we make it through to the next election in one piece.

New Rule

After reading a few too many parenting books to try to figure out how to get Henry to stop hitting (he's getting better by the way), I decided that my kids watch entirely too much TV.  So I implemented a new rule: play outside for 1 hour, get 1/2 of TV on week days or 1 hour on weekends.   It was  a little painful at first.  The kids would just sit outside not knowing how to play outside, but now, a month later, they rarely watch TV.  Maybe once a week Rex will cash in his playtime but they get so distracted playing outside they don't have time to to watch TV any more.

And it's been really good.  Alice is no longer a vampire; she goes right to bed at night.  The house stays pretty clean.  Ok that was a lie.  But the kids do sleep better at night.  They fight less and play more.  There spirit in our home is better.  Not that the kids were watching bad shows but the lack of TV forces them to interact in more positive ways.  And I get to feel like a good mom because I can say, "We don't watch TV at our house" while looking down my nose at all the other moms.

I do miss it though.  I miss being able to plop the kids in front of the TV so I could shower or nap or mop the floor in peace.  Henry doesn't nap anymore even though he really needs to so our afternoons are no longer the quiet, peaceful, relaxing afternoons that I used to not kill my children and regain my zen for after school and dinner and bedtime.  Now it's just chaos all the time.  Especially Henry as he gets more and more tired through the afternoon.  Around 4, I usually can't handle the noise and mess and complaining anymore and send everybody outside, where they slowly make their way over to the Wheatley's and the trampoline.  Becky is such a good person.

Now I just need to figure out how to get Henry to nap again.  He is so much better behaved when he's not exhausted all the time.

Greg built the kids a deathtrap/fort/elevated platform to play on with I first decreed outside playtime.  They spend a lot of time on it.

Halloween Etc

First, pumpkin carving, which was a fairly painless experience this year. Rex carved his own; Alice mostly carved her own; Henry and Greg worked together; and I took pictures and scrapped out a few guts.  I'm trying to not worry so much about messes and to just let the kids be kids.  This day, I didn't insist that the entire house be clean before we make a mess, and it worked out just fine.  I think we even ate dinner outside after so we could prolong the pumpkin mess.

Saturday was the ward Trunk or Treat, and as a self-proclaimed Trunk or Treat expert, I'd say this was one of the better ones I've been to.  Grant it, they didn't announce the starting time, so we showed up an hour early  (oops), the food wasn't ready on time, there wasn't enough food, they failed to announce that people were supposed to bring desserts and there weren't enough tables and chairs set up, BUT because it was just our ward and it was outside, I felt comfortable letting the kids run around and enjoy their friends on a friend holiday.    I even let them trunk or treat on their own, which took a lot of stress off of me trying to keep everyone together and happy, but I think the kids had more fun running around with their friends.  The reason why this was ok, AND the reason this was one of the better trunk or treats I've been to: after dinner the bishopric gathered all the kids around and gave the adults two to three minutes to get out the candy and they set limits of where the kids could go.  It was nice having an official start time and not just have people awkwardly start walking around they want.

Alice and her bestie Lottie

Jack and Henry

Piper, Hazel and Alice

Rex, Derick, Will and Jack

Now, onto the costumes.  I'm pretty proud of myself for these--I costumed the entire family and decorated our van for less than $50.  

First, the family:

 Aren't we adorable?  We're SuperHeroes.  Greg is Alfred, Batman's butler.  And Rex is an eagle.  He doesn't like to play along with my silly games.

So in case you want to copy me, here's how I did the costumes.

Me: I'm Batman.  I wore my black spandex and a black long-sleeved shirt that I wear all the time but my friends were all impressed by my sexy Batman.  It was more like work-out Batman who straightened her hair, but I digress.  I made a felt belt that I sewed the Batman logo onto and I quick-stitched that Batman logo on my shirt as well.  I safety pinned one of Alice's play Batman capes to my back.  BAM.  done.  Although cutting all those Batman logos was a pain.

Greg: Alfred the Butler.  He wore slacks, a white shirt, cardigan and tie that he already had.  Then we sprayed his hair gray to look like Michael Cain.  $2.  BAM.  Done.

Rex: Eagle.  This was a slightly annoying because he decided he wanted the feathers to be sewn on a different way than I had originally thought I would, so I had to hand sew them on.  And then for the head I was just going to sew a white hood with a yellow beak on but then I saw a more detailed version on Pinterest so of course I had to do that.  So for his costume, I got a brown hoodie and brown pants from a consignment store, then hand sewed felt feathers onto the arms, machine sewed the tail on (thank goodness), and pieced together this ridiculous hood.  But he was happy with it.

Alice: She started the Super Hero theme by wanting to be Wonder Woman.  For her, I bought a long-sleeved red shirt at a consignment store, because it's October.  I used freezer paper as a stencil to paint the Wonder Woman design on the front.  For the skirt, I used an old cape we've had laying around for years.  I sewed up the sides and added 3 felt stars.  For the head band I use Peltex in between 2 layers of gold and pattern I found on Pinterest.  The I used elastic in the back to keep it on her head.   I used the same pattern to make the belt, but this time I used felt for shape and only did 1 layer of gold fabric, but I cut it big so I could fold it around the felt and sewed that in place.  The arm bands are also Peltex.  I just wrapped some Peltex around her forearm cut, and sewed gold fabric on the top.  Then I cut the feet off an old pair of Rex's baseball socks because Alice hates stuff on her feet to make the boots.  I think Alice was a little disappointed in her costume because I made an appropriate for end of October and little girls version.  She got over it.

Henry: wanted to be Robin because he likes to wear Alice's Robin tutu around.  It took a bit of convincing to have his wear this more masculine version.  For Henry, I bought another plain red shirt from the consignment store, cut the sleeves off and re-hemed the now-tank top.  I made a Robin logo out of felt, which I sewed to the shirt and some yellow decoration.  He wore an old green long sleeved shirt of Rex's underneath that with some of Alice's yellow leggings, the cape from the tutu costume and the belt from the tutu costume.

 Zora: Super Girl!  For her, I bought a long sleeved blue onesie at the consignment store to which I sewed the Super Man logo.  Then I made her a red circle skirt, which I didn't bother to hem or make a real casing for, I just sewed the elastic right on.  Then I made a cape which I also did not hem, that I sewed the Super Man logo to and safety pinned to her shirt.  Can you tell, hers was the last costume.  I was so sick of all my sewing stuff being out that I just wanted every thing done.  She was also the only kid not bugging me about costumes.

For the car, I made a city sky line out of black foam board, yellow poster board, hot glue and 2 1/2 hours of my life.  I added some crepe paper that I already had to finish off the look.

Monday night, we had an uneventful but super fun nonetheless night trick or treating with the Wheatley's.  Henry eventually fell asleep on the stroller so I headed back to the Overson's and hung out by their fire until the other kids were done.