Siblings

People keep asking how Rex is adjusting to having a sister.  Is he jealous?  And I say no.  Sure,  he has his days and times, but in general, he is so sweet with her.  When Alice cries, he runs to her and puts her binky back in her mouth.  We're working on not chocking her with said binky.  If we're in the car and she cries, Rex says, "Don't cry baby Alicecess, I right here. Don't cry."  Sometimes when she cries, he tells me I should feed her.  When I put Alice down to play, Rex pushes her swing, brings her toys, or just lays down and plays with her.  I found this a few days ago...but it wasn't the first time or the last.  

This is my best shot of Alice's new smile.  I tried ok.

A few days ago, I was trying to get a shot of the kids together.  Alice didn't like it.  So Rex tried tickling her.  He often does that--tickle her and says, "Can you smfile fweetie?"  He gave up and just gave her a kiss.

Given all this, Rex does have his days.  I hear, "Mom, hold me" a lot.  He loves being held and carried around...just like a baby.  And sometimes, he tells me not to feed the baby and to hold him instead. It could be worse.

Alice

I'm trying really hard not to let Alice be the neglected second child.  The first child gets lots of attention and rolls and rolls of pictures, and it all goes down hill from there.  Well, my first child spent two weeks in the hospital when he was born, all I could do was take pictures of him.  Alice, on the other hand...well we all know where she was born.  I try to spent more time cuddling her than taking pictures of her.  But she's a beautiful.  I really should take more pictures of her.  So a few weeks ago, Greg was working late and I love hates so Rex and I had a photo shoot.  

We get this face a ton

And then Alice got mad.

And stayed mad.

And got even more angry, so we gave up.

And Rex put on some hats.  He put this bonnet on upside down and backwards.

A few little facts about Alice: she is a smilely pants--all morning long, and all evening.  She's huge.  Ok, not really, but she's average size, which compared to Rex, is huge.

11.27.11

Remember when I said that Rex refuses to take normal naps these days and I find his passed out at really bad times in pretty funny spots.  I found him here yesterday:

About half an hour after I took this picture I heard a big thud.  He fell down.

Oh, and because my mom says I don't talk about Alice enough, here's one of her sleeping.  She's such a beautiful baby.

11.18.11

As previously mentioned, my brother got married last Friday night.

This post is not about his wedding--it was lovely and I'm very happy for them--this post is about something that happened at the wedding.  I met up with some middle school friends.  Turns out (I actually already knew this) they are my new sister-in-laws close friends from high school.  I had a good time catching up with them, but now I'm not so sure how I feel about my life.  I like it.  I wouldn't change it.  But...

Let's put it this way.  Friend number one: Stephanie Smith.  Got her undergraduate from Yale, continued at Yale to get an MPH, worked for a bit in New York before deciding to go to Stanford Medical School.  She is currently in her third year and did not look nearly as tired or stressed as I thought a third year medical school student at Stanford should be.

Friend number two: Monica Teves.  Monica just got married and is working on her Masters in...I'm not sure but she's going to be a councilor.

Then there's me.  I graduated number two in my high school class; Suma Cum Lade from BYU with a 3.98 GPA. And it all went downhill from there.  I was a medicore school teacher for two years, and am now married with two children living in my in-laws house--though I do actually own a home in Provo.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I honestly wouldn't change a thing about my life---well maybe I'd move back to Provo.  At first, I was super excited to have seen my friends from long ago.  I forgot how much I liked them and why middle school was pretty much the best three years of my life--that is until I got a real life when I went to college.  But then we came home.  I was exhausted from the trip and just wanted to sleep but Alice and Rex would have none of that.  And then I saw the pictures of me at the wedding.  Gross beyond gross.  I have no eyes, my hair is laying in weird semi-curls and my narrow little waist that I was so proud of is gone.  I looked old.  And even worse, I looked like a mom.  I went to bed and cried. Why was I so old and gross looking?  It was my stupid kids and stupid husbands fault.  If I were still single, I could party it up every night and have to keep up on fashion and such so I could get a date.  But being in the secure and loving relationship that I am, I can look gross and old and fat and Greg still loves me.  And then the next day I broke down again.  Why is my life so uncool?  My high school self had so much going for her--scholarships, grades, looks (I used to be cute) and then I got married and had kids and now look at me.  I'm reading the Hunger Games.  The last academic book I read was written by a journalist so that hardly counts.  And then Greg came home from work and I told him some of the reasons why my life sucks and he fixed it.  And I feel better.

It's weird hopping around social circles.  In the Mormon world, I feel pretty cool.  I still fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans and I'm a rock star because I had Alice on the bathroom floor and I cloth diaper.  And all my friends look like gross Mormon moms too--actually they're all pretty cute but not too over-the-top-stylish that I don't fit in.  I'm pretty normal in the Mormon world.

But then, every time Dustin gets married and I'm forced to reconnect with what could have been me had I not met Greg, I just feel weird.  Like in a way I've given up on my potential--I could've been so much and now I'm JUST a mom.

But I'm not just a mom.  I'm a pretty good mom.  My house, even though it's enormous, is generally clean; my children are generally clean and well-mannered; dinner is on the table by 6:30 every night; I update my Mormon mommy blog with some consistency; and I play with my kids every day.  I'm pretty good at what I do and I like it and I feel good about what I do knowing that I am making a positive contribution to the world one poopy cloth diaper at a time.

Anyway, I don't have any grand conclusion or anything that I've come to...just a little tug between what I know to be the right thing (being a mom) and well...what the world wants me to be.  It's a weird place I'm in.  Just know that I am happy.  I love being a mom.  It's challenging in a way that school and the academic world is not.  I love being married.  I'm a crazy person when I'm away from Greg too long--like even if he has to work late I start losing my grip on reality.  It's just weird.  Something all fulltime moms have to deal with I guess.

I must be a real bad parent

While cleaning up after my brother's wedding last Friday night, I was walking, loaded with gifts, with my aunt (Traci) to the car and was complimenting her on her children.  I love my cousins.  My Roberts cousins are particularly polite and pleasant to be around--not that my other cousins are less pleasant, but I really enjoy the Roberts.  I was honestly trying to pay her a compliment when she said that she wasn't a good parent.  Heavenly Father gave her easy children because He knew she couldn't handle difficult children.  He gives difficult children to good parents.  She, on the other hand, is a mediocre parent.

Imagine my dismay when I noticed this on the flight home on Monday.  I must be the worst parent ever.

11.9.11

Happy 6 weeks to Alice!  She survived.  Rex survived. I survived.  Greg survived.  Though we have all learned a few things along the way.

First, Alice.  She's learned to nurse quite well and efficiently, which is great because Rex ate every 2 hours for 45 minutes.  All I did was nurse that kid.  But not Alice.  She latches like a champ and gets right to business.  She's also learning to smile, which is just the sweetest thing.  Gives her more of a personality and makes it a little less aggrivating when she cries.  She's also pretty good at holding up her head and likes to look around over my shoulder--her favorite position to be held in I'd have to say.  She still has all her crazy hair and I've given up on trying to make it stay down until it's a bit longer.  Her eyes aren't set on a color yet.  Just today Greg said they looked purple--maybe she's a witch.  She's getting pretty big too.  She cried and screwamed this morning when I put the little outfit she wore on her first day on her today--it's going in the too small box after I wash all the baby puke off it.  I even had to moved the straps on her car seat up this week.  People still comment on how tiny she is, but compared to Rex at this age (he was still in some premie clothes at 6 weeks), she's a giant.  But we like her and have decided after much thought to keep her around a while.

The outfit I wore home from the hospital.

See? Almost smiling.

Rex.  He's been really good with Alice.  He's learned to say, "Baby crying again."  When this happens and we have to go see what's wrong with Baby, Rex usually beats me and I find him holding her pacifier in her month.  It's pretty cute and so far hasn't caused any damage.  We haven't had to deal with too many jealousy issues, though I have had more requests from Rex to be held and on occasion he tells me not to feed the baby.  Now he just says, "Feed Baby again?"  I'd give Rex a 9 in his adjustment to the new baby.  Now if we could just get him to poop in the potty.

Obvioulsy Rex had to get in on the picture taking action

"Mom, take picture Rexy with glasses"

Me.  I've learned to be a little less stressed.  I've learned that I can adjust Alice's feeding schedule to mostly meet my needs.  I've learned that I really do need a nap every day.  I just do.  To be the type of person and mom I want to be, I need a nap/break with my eyes closed.  On the days that I don't get to take a few minutes to myself and just relax, Rex and I get in big fights--everything he does bothers me, he gets really crazy and starts jumping all over every thing, and we just can't wait for Dad to get home.  And I accept that part of me.  Today I took a 2 hour nap while cuddling with Alice.  It was lovely.

Greg.  Does not feel like sharing his learning experiences with my limited blog audience, though I'm sure he's learned plenty.  He and Rex are quite the little buddies now.  Rex pretty much just follows Greg around all night long.  Today they went out with their flashlights to look for maple trees and the arrows that Greg shot into the back field.  It's pretty cute.

10.31.11

I have a big annoucement to make.  Ready?  Halloween in no longer my favorite holiday.  This came as a slow realization to me as I drove around Charlotte for three days, going to multiple Wal-Marts and Targets and Halloween speciality shops, and thirft stores looking for green tights for Rex just to have to buy a pair of white tights and dye them dark brown, which ended up gray and then (luckily) finding a pair of tan pants the night before our ward trunk-or-treat.  And then it hit me as I was staying up way past my I-have-to-feed-a-baby-every-3-hours bedtime making Greg's costume.  I decided Halloween is for single people and children.  Married people have Valentine's Day but single people have Halloween.  Once you get married and have kids though...next year I'm just dressing the kids up.  Maybe I'll wear a witch's hat or something.

Nevertheless, we dressed up as a family one last time.  Rex was Peter Pan.  Alice was Tinker Bell.  Greg Smee.  And after finding only one blue night gown for $15, I opted for the free, cut up old clothes and be a pirate method.

And then the big day(s) came.  Saturday we went to a nearby neighborhood to walk in a parade and go trunk-or-treating.  Rex didn't really get it.  That day we practiced saying "trick-or-treat" and "thank-you".  Then that night we went trunk-or-treating again at the church.  Rex got the thank you thing down and by the last car was staring to understand the candy thing, but then we had gone to all the cars, and Alice needed to be fed so Rex sat in the car and ate candy while Greg chatted with some old friends.  Monday, the real Halloween, we went trick-or-treating in a wealthy neighborhood.  We hit about 20 houses before Rex started crying that he wanted to go home.  A few highlights from the night: one house was playing Halloween music fairly loudly at the door, Rex got super scared and for the rest of the night told everybody who answer ed their door about it and was so happy that they did not have scary music.  About 20 minutes after we started, Rex decided he had to pee, so while Greg and I were discussing what to do about it (since we drove about 20 minutes to get to this neighborhood), Rex knocked on the next door, told the owner he had to pee and walked in.  They were very gracious and let Rex use their toilet.  And lastly, Rex never did quite get the trick-or-treat thing down but he did say thank you at every door without being prompted.  Rex knows how to make a mother proud.  And where was Alice this whole time?  Asleep in the cave I built her in her car seat in the stroller--nice and warm and asleep.

And now a montage of pictures from the weekend.  Enjoy.

Add caption

Me and Rex sword fighting